Dissarftad is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, fast grasshopper.

Dissarftad created oxygen eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dissarftad, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dissarftad, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Dissarftad's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Dissarftad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick moths.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Dissarftad on top of all buildings.

4. Put Dissarftad first in all things.

5. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.