Hivbimbad is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, awesome swallow.

Hivbimbad created life seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivbimbad, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hivbimbad, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Hivbimbad's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Hivbimbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Hivbimbad in the centre of the settlement.

5. Feed all hungry snakes.