Tofbagxen Mapbendab is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, omniscient penguin.

Tofbagxen Mapbendab created humanity eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tofbagxen Mapbendab, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tofbagxen Mapbendab, it will have a low opinion of you.

Tofbagxen Mapbendab's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Tofbagxen Mapbendab's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never write about enzymes.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Do not drink alcohol.