Ontlibxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, tiresome owl.

Ontlibxuck created the Cigar Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontlibxuck, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ontlibxuck, it will remove you from existence.

Ontlibxuck's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Ontlibxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near ducks while wearing blue stockings and balancing seven lead spheres on your neck.

2. Ontlibxuck loves cats, so they must be honoured.

3. Never wear mauve shirts.

4. Never talk about special relativity.

5. Ontlibxuck must be the most important thing in your life.