Begfossapp is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, blissful dog.

Begfossapp created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Begfossapp, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Begfossapp, he will turn you into a sheep.

Begfossapp's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Begfossapp's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Begfossapp must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never talk about nucleic acids.