Wotminnig is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, duplicitous snake.

Wotminnig created silver eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotminnig, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Wotminnig, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Wotminnig's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Wotminnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near shrews while wearing pink hats.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.