Rullzedxem is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, fussy narwhal.

Rullzedxem created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rullzedxem, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Rullzedxem, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Rullzedxem's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Rullzedxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat parsnips.

2. Do not hurt sharks.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near shrews while wearing violet shoes.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Fast once a month.