Gilgumtam is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, effective hamster.

Gilgumtam created the planet Saturn eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gilgumtam, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gilgumtam, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gilgumtam's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Gilgumtam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat nuts.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Gilgumtam on top of all buildings.

3. Always help sick porpoises.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.