Flapbagvog is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, merciful shark.

Flapbagvog created time and space three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapbagvog, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flapbagvog, he will try to impress you with trees.

Flapbagvog's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Flapbagvog's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured porpoises.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near gulls while wearing gray boots.

5. Never think about gravity.