Targlaktun is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, smart parrot.

Targlaktun created carbon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Targlaktun, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Targlaktun, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Targlaktun's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Targlaktun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nucleic acids.

2. Run away from turquoise dolphins, for they are unholy.

3. Do not wear zinc on your body.

4. Do not take Targlaktun's name in vain.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.