Safbessomin Gudwodgat Dumvinmumcun is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, happy swan.

Safbessomin Gudwodgat Dumvinmumcun created viruses seven million years ago.

If you believe in Safbessomin Gudwodgat Dumvinmumcun, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Safbessomin Gudwodgat Dumvinmumcun, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Safbessomin Gudwodgat Dumvinmumcun's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Safbessomin Gudwodgat Dumvinmumcun's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. You must never eat bread.

4. Manatees are not to be trusted.

5. Always take life seriously.