Omtrawlab is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, fussy hydra.

Omtrawlab created the Sun two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtrawlab, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Omtrawlab, it will destroy your favourite star.

Omtrawlab's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Omtrawlab's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Omtrawlab.

3. Never think ill of sick sharks.

4. Never write about bacteria.

5. Do not shave your back.