Vigmutlarg is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humorless capybara.

Vigmutlarg created a quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vigmutlarg, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vigmutlarg, she will turn you into a puffin.

Vigmutlarg's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Vigmutlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cherries.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Never wear dresses.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never mention ducks.