Veentipren is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, conceited centipede.

Veentipren created the planet Venus six million years ago.

If you believe in Veentipren, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Veentipren, he will come to you in dreams.

Veentipren's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Veentipren's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Do not wear iron on your body.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never mention porpoises.