Bassvanxin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, humane meerkat.

Bassvanxin created a charm quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bassvanxin, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bassvanxin, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Bassvanxin's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Bassvanxin's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Bassvanxin.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

4. Bassvanxin must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not cook food in pots.