Wattomnarl is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, ruthless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Wattomnarl created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wattomnarl, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wattomnarl, she will strike you with lightening.

Wattomnarl's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Wattomnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt seals.

2. Never think about chromosomes.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

5. Do not hurt gulls.