Tigarmpang is a god.
It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, overgenerous
walrus.
Tigarmpang created everything that exists two years ago.
If you believe in
Tigarmpang, it will be happy.
If you do not believe in
Tigarmpang, it will turn you into a rat.
Tigarmpang's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.
Tigarmpang's Holy Commandments1. Never feed bananas to sharks while wearing orange shirts.
2. Worship no other gods but Tigarmpang.
3. Never write about planets.
4. Never talk about special relativity.
5. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.