Gad is a god.

He takes the form of a large, wise cow.

Gad created Mount Everest eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gad, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gad, he will ignore you.

Gad's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Gad's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face green.

2. Never bounce in the presence of foxes.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never talk about bacteria.

5. Always take life seriously.