Dutpophad is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, happy narwhal.

Dutpophad created viruses five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutpophad, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Dutpophad, it will destroy your favourite star.

Dutpophad's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Dutpophad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity.

2. Never wear blue skirts.

3. Never eat figs.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Dutpophad in the centre of the settlement.