Dinboptun Dogcembag is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, vain goblin.

Dinboptun Dogcembag created the Milkyway four million years ago.

If you believe in Dinboptun Dogcembag, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dinboptun Dogcembag, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Dinboptun Dogcembag's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Dinboptun Dogcembag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not leap in public.

5. Do not eat melons.