Yattflanfen is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, sage wolf.

Yattflanfen created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattflanfen, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yattflanfen, he will turn you into a snail.

Yattflanfen's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Yattflanfen's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six whales approach from the west.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Do not kill swans.

5. Yattflanfen loves mites, so they must be respected.