Cabtof is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, uncaring alligator.

Cabtof created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabtof, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cabtof, it will turn you into a rock.

Cabtof's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Cabtof's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Cabtof in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Hide if five seals approach from the east.

4. You must pray to Cabtof eight times a day.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.