Bessdissjan is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unjust cat.

Bessdissjan created an atom two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bessdissjan, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bessdissjan, she will curse you with boils.

Bessdissjan's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bessdissjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not speak about spinach.