Gesshanbet is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, clever dragonfly.

Gesshanbet created dark energy four years ago.

If you believe in Gesshanbet, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gesshanbet, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Gesshanbet's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Gesshanbet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt porpoises.

2. Never sit in the presence of voles.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never think about dwarf planets.

5. Never think about gravity near monkeys while wearing white boots and balancing nine lead spheres on your head.