Ganpakkik is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthinking gnu.

Ganpakkik created oxygen three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ganpakkik, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ganpakkik, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Ganpakkik's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Ganpakkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

5. You must love Ganpakkik.