Mottapwit is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, conceited pig.

Mottapwit created a top quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Mottapwit, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mottapwit, she will ignore you.

Mottapwit's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Mottapwit's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Mottapwit.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Mottapwit.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not take Mottapwit's name in vain.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.