Cargudleghubyattdumxembim Gedvolrip is a god.

He takes the form of a small, proud monkey.

Cargudleghubyattdumxembim Gedvolrip created the solar system three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cargudleghubyattdumxembim Gedvolrip, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cargudleghubyattdumxembim Gedvolrip, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Cargudleghubyattdumxembim Gedvolrip's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Cargudleghubyattdumxembim Gedvolrip's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Erect six platinum sculptures of Cargudleghubyattdumxembim Gedvolrip on top of important buildings.

3. Do not kill ants.

4. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Cargudleghubyattdumxembim Gedvolrip in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not stand on grass.