Mumjamvil is a god.

It takes the form of a small, awe-inspiring rhinoceros.

Mumjamvil created the planet Earth seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mumjamvil, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Mumjamvil, it will be mildly annoyed.

Mumjamvil's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Mumjamvil's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Run away from violet snakes, for they are unholy.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always stare at clouds.