Quafdit Nulldapzim is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, prudent rhinoceros.

Quafdit Nulldapzim created silver five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quafdit Nulldapzim, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quafdit Nulldapzim, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Quafdit Nulldapzim's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Quafdit Nulldapzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Quafdit Nulldapzim.

3. Do not shave your hands.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never feed apples to goats while wearing violet hats.