Omintalzan is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, emotional crab.

Omintalzan created the Virgo Supercluster nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Omintalzan, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Omintalzan, she will be very sad.

Omintalzan's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Omintalzan's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Erect a large gold sculpture of Omintalzan on top of all buildings.

5. Do not laugh in public.