Somtentag is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unfair hippopotamus.

Somtentag created the planet Jupiter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somtentag, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Somtentag, she will destroy your favourite star.

Somtentag's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Somtentag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never think about dark energy near bats while wearing mauve hats and balancing three aluminium spheres on your legs.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near tortoises while wearing black scarves and balancing eight nickel spheres on your neck.