Cimflamgunkan is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, prudent goat.

Cimflamgunkan created everything that exists nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cimflamgunkan, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cimflamgunkan, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Cimflamgunkan's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Cimflamgunkan's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not wear white clothing.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cimflamgunkan.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Run away from purple turtles, for they are unholy.