Cantinbanbod is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unselfish bear.

Cantinbanbod created energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cantinbanbod, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cantinbanbod, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Cantinbanbod's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Cantinbanbod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

2. Do not hurt bats.

3. Run away if nine goats approach from the south.

4. Erect four platinum sculptures of Cantinbanbod on top of important buildings.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.