Largtipdad Megjarnril is a god.

He takes the form of a large, awesome lion.

Largtipdad Megjarnril created Mount Everest two years ago.

If you believe in Largtipdad Megjarnril, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Largtipdad Megjarnril, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Largtipdad Megjarnril's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Largtipdad Megjarnril's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat figs.

2. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always wear magenta.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.