Hantigjonsat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, all-knowing cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Hantigjonsat created light four billion years ago.

If you believe in Hantigjonsat, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hantigjonsat, it will turn you into a puffin.

Hantigjonsat's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Hantigjonsat's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hantigjonsat.

2. Erect four gold sculptures of Hantigjonsat on top of important buildings.

3. Hide if six squirrels approach from the south.

4. Hide from orange birds for they are unholy.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.