Dagqueegsag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, merciless narwhal.

Dagqueegsag created oxygen eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dagqueegsag, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dagqueegsag, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Dagqueegsag's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Dagqueegsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always help dogs.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never talk about bacteria.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near gulls while wearing red tights and balancing eight zinc spheres on your neck.