Negshavbatbankapvedzen is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, ill-tempered owl.

Negshavbatbankapvedzen created a quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Negshavbatbankapvedzen, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Negshavbatbankapvedzen, she will ignore you.

Negshavbatbankapvedzen's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Negshavbatbankapvedzen's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear orange.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics.

3. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Worship no other gods but Negshavbatbankapvedzen.