Sakloopdam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, selfish hyena.

Sakloopdam created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Sakloopdam, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Sakloopdam, he will turn you into a goat.

Sakloopdam's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Sakloopdam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not kill pigs.

3. Never wear trousers.

4. Retreat if eight mice approach from the south.

5. Run away if five squirrels approach from the west.