Fityarxin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, dishonest meerkat.

Fityarxin created water seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fityarxin, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fityarxin, she will turn you into a frog.

Fityarxin's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Fityarxin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt pigs.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Always look after injured doves.

4. Fityarxin must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not dye your hair orange.