Jopkiphigriplagcanhotflab Gabsagbadmut is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, narcissistic camel.

Jopkiphigriplagcanhotflab Gabsagbadmut created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Jopkiphigriplagcanhotflab Gabsagbadmut, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jopkiphigriplagcanhotflab Gabsagbadmut, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Jopkiphigriplagcanhotflab Gabsagbadmut's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Jopkiphigriplagcanhotflab Gabsagbadmut's Holy Commandments

1. Always help great tits.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always treat ducks with great respect.

4. Never feed limes to swans while wearing rings.

5. Jopkiphigriplagcanhotflab Gabsagbadmut must be the most important thing in your life.