Tonkzagcebsadgedtin is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, thoughtless snail.

Tonkzagcebsadgedtin created gold six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkzagcebsadgedtin, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tonkzagcebsadgedtin, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tonkzagcebsadgedtin's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Tonkzagcebsadgedtin's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of bats.

2. Always treat ducks with great respect.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near pigs while wearing violet scarves and balancing nine nickel spheres on your hands.