Vag is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, sapient armadillo.

Vag created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Vag, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vag, she will send minions to preach to you.

Vag's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Vag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five copper sculptures of Vag on top of important buildings.

2. You must love Vag.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always treat swans with great respect.

5. Hide if nine goats approach from the west.