Vag is a god.
She takes the form of a corpulent, sapient
armadillo.
Vag created dark energy six million years ago.
If you believe in
Vag, she will make you immortal.
If you do not believe in
Vag, she will send minions to preach to you.
Vag's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.
Vag's Holy Commandments1. Erect five copper sculptures of Vag on top of important buildings.
2. You must love Vag.
3. Do not chop down trees.
4. Always treat swans with great respect.
5. Hide if nine goats approach from the west.