Mitquamlakraktanlidbotvog is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, omnipotent hummingbird.

Mitquamlakraktanlidbotvog created vertebrates two million years ago.

If you believe in Mitquamlakraktanlidbotvog, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Mitquamlakraktanlidbotvog, he will throw large rocks at you.

Mitquamlakraktanlidbotvog's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Mitquamlakraktanlidbotvog's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed oranges to sharks while wearing trousers.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Hide from purple turtles for they are unholy.