Quamtargdid is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, confident faun.

Quamtargdid created the planet Earth five million years ago.

If you believe in Quamtargdid, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quamtargdid, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Quamtargdid's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Quamtargdid's Holy Commandments

1. Quamtargdid loves cats, so they must be honoured.

2. Never feed limes to foxes while wearing white dresses.

3. Feed all hungry goats.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing fawn stockings and balancing seven zinc spheres on your face.

5. Quamtargdid loves birds, so they must be respected.