Mumhapsag Nigmifben is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, astonishing tapir.

Mumhapsag Nigmifben created the Virgo Supercluster nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumhapsag Nigmifben, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mumhapsag Nigmifben, he will boil you in a big pot.

Mumhapsag Nigmifben's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Mumhapsag Nigmifben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Erect a giant red sculpture of Mumhapsag Nigmifben in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always help aardvarks.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.