Bemhassafflisyart is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unfair raccoon.

Bemhassafflisyart created the solar system five million years ago.

If you believe in Bemhassafflisyart, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bemhassafflisyart, it will turn you into a snail.

Bemhassafflisyart's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Bemhassafflisyart's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Bemhassafflisyart in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not laugh in public.