Ganwegbom is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, merciful goblin.

Ganwegbom created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganwegbom, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ganwegbom, he will try to impress you with trees.

Ganwegbom's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Ganwegbom's Holy Commandments

1. Put Ganwegbom first in all things.

2. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Always treat birds with great respect.

5. Never play with disobedient children.