Dossortstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, awe-inspiring grasshopper.

Dossortstaf created a charm quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dossortstaf, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dossortstaf, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Dossortstaf's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Dossortstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in holy places.

2. Never paint your hands white.

3. Never talk about dwarf planets.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. You must pray to Dossortstaf six times a day.