Hotnuttquartmid is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, sapient hedgehog.

Hotnuttquartmid created bats nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hotnuttquartmid, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hotnuttquartmid, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Hotnuttquartmid's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Hotnuttquartmid's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never hurt pigs.

5. Always help goats in need.