Nabtapcun is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, kind grasshopper.

Nabtapcun created a photon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nabtapcun, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nabtapcun, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nabtapcun's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Nabtapcun's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

2. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

3. Never talk about voles.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Nabtapcun must be the most important thing in your life.